Today has been my worst day in months. My nose was dripping profusely the whole day, and I even had to get through a 3-hour lab session. Right now my nose feels so sore. But there was a silver lining from God though. I did better than I prayed for in my second maths quiz. It was a killer quiz, as you can guess from the stats I retrieved from my professor.

As you can see the rest of the 2 classes scored mostly around 30s and 45s.

I prayed for at least 60 and got 75! My result literally came out and shocked me. There were 2 questions worth 50 marks each and 20 marks for a bonus question 3. I did not even do the bonus question at all. I was quite sure I nailed the 1st question at the head but I did a very different method and calculations for 2nd question which lead to nowhere when the time was up. I thought I was a goner for question 2. But hey in the end got 45 and 30 marks for that 2 questions ;)

John 15:7 "If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish and it will be given you."

So friends, what are you believing in God for today?

Just got back from bbq with cell group at joseph's house in serangoon. Taking the public transport there and back is really tedious. But i feel genuinely glad to fellowship with them. And I made friends with two Koreans ! One of them is even studying in NTU as exchange student. Thank God for these developing friendships. Even though I'm such an introvert, so many new people just cross my path ;)

Here's a good one from me. "If yawning was a sin, I may have visited hell a thousand times." I just yawn uncontrollably sometimes. And the worst thing is, I actually know yawning is a habit and not a rightful way to show that I am tired. I saw a scientific report which found out that babies under age 2 (i think) do not yawn at all. But after that age, they learn it from the people around them, especially their mums and start yawning. So, it is only(not) human to yawn. But to feel tired, of course it's human.

I've just finished a long day. Studied so much after school today at the biz library. I learned something new today. You can't get a study room at the biz library unless you are a final year student or post graduate!

Yeah this week has been great. Kept my hands off live forex mostly this week. Going big Jo house for bbq. Jo=big=house. Haha. It is equivalent. See y'all !

"Giving up" really dawned on me just now while I was trying to start my physics tutorial. I initially thought I still have next week's tutorial to finish and yay I'll be on good pace with my tutorial already. But I got a shock when I saw that particular tutorial sheet was scribbled. That means my tutor had gone through that, albeit not all the questions. Damned, hate the "currents of the world", I hope I can get a job with an exorbitant pay in future so that I don't need to give a heck about chasing paper qualifications or sucking up to the boss for a promotion.

On the brighter side, I have completed and submitted my lab report last week. That is a major burden gone. And completed my maths tutorial for this upcoming week ;) Time to go make up for lost time.

Aha today I got mood to blog. Actually no. I'm starting to feel an onset of sore eye. I hope it did not come from Melissa, whom had an eye infection and I grabbed her hand during service just now. No please no.

Okay I just want to talk about my forex trading first. You already knew from before that I lost more than half of my capital due to my greed and "God knows what came onto me". And it happened again this week. I traded upon an important news announcement (called the US unemployment rate). I lost USD49 on that. You may think it's small money. Right. But when I have only USD220 left in my account. That is a suicidal trade. I told myself I would not risk more than 2-3% of my capital on any single trade. But as you can see, I was gunning for a desperate attempt to pull my balance up back to where I would feel comfortable enough to sleep well for the night. But ummm long story short, I told a very short term trade on friday with a super-sized lot(that could be suicidal again if it lost). Luckily, it was a winning trade and it hit my target profit and I netted USD 33.60. Another trade gave up USD 13.75.

I guessed, after all these stupid trades, I will gain some precious and not to mention expensive lessons as a live beginner trader.

Okay, now is time for some deep thoughts I have about trading the markets. I read from somewhere in the past (yeah I really did borrow more than 50 financial books from the library) that the markets are called a zero-sum game. Because whenever a investor or trader loses, someone else in the other side of the world or whom takes an opposite sided trade wins. For forex markets, the biggest players are banks. I supposed they are tasked by the government to monitor the local currency and keep it within a range that is good for the economy. I can't say banks always lose, but it is obvious to say that they hold the largest trades and could potentially lose big. Sure, banks definitely got the state-of-the-art technology to sniff out the word out there, but there's no guarantee in trading. Especially when you are forced to handle huge trading sizes. It is difficult to get in and out of the market. 

So I kept asking myself, so all in all trading the market is like a tug of war game between the sellers and buyers. One need to have a proven strategy and periodically change the trading idea to win most of the time. Then it raises another question. If more and more people gradually win more than they lose(assume that increasingly number of people attend trading courses), then who are the ones who genuinely lose? My answer is those newbie traders who think they know what they are doing, but ego eats them and their profits...

I have an advice to those who intend to buy those unit trusts, or mutual funds as they call it in the US. Nobody cares more about your money than yourself. Do you think that person who sold you the unit trust package cares about how much you can earn for yourself? He/she is actually thinking how much commission that can come from you. And those fund managers? Come on, why do you pay the monthly or yearly fees to them to invest your funds when they can't guarantee profits?

I heard a real life story from one guy in Wealth Mentors. He said he invested S$10k in some kind of investment scheme by ****(the company has the biggest chain of supermarkets in singapore. Go figure out). 8 years after he investing in the late 1990s, he got back a profit of less than 100 dollars. He himself was a very successful trader when he retrieve the money out. And he told anyone from then on who came across him trying to sell him investment policies, "Take a look at my profits. Can you guarantee these profits?

Guys, I'm not trying to stop you from investing your hard-earned money. Yes some investment plans work really well. But unless it is deposit guaranteed, anything can go wrong isn't it? Please do a thorough research on the risks and rewards of whatever you put your funds into.

Bless you all. The phrase that reached out to me this week was, "Don't follow the currents of the world, but the kingdom of God. Not my will, but Yours be done. "

Hello guys, just want to use this outlet now to vent my anger and frustrations. The past 2 days have been the worse of my life.

Let me walk you through what hit me recently.

It was Wednesday night. I was paying alot of attention to the forex market, since I got my live account weeks ago. Before that stupid thing happened, I was down 50USD for the account. But it was good trading, I followed my own rules and traded carefully. But it was at 2.15am+, a big US news(Fed Fund Rate) was coming out. I told myself before I would not trade news, because I know how and also heard how volatile the prices can move after the news broke out. But for that one night, I turned into a devilish gambler on the market. I traded huge position, 5 mini lots. Lost it. Then I was bent on getting my money back. I traded in 4 mini lots and lost it again. In that 1 hour, I lost about 200USD. I immediately turned feverish and tried damn hard to get myself to sleep. Kept blaming myself. This is just so stupid. How could I have done such a thing when I know clearly that it was going to be akin to gambling? I guessed I was probably too focused on trying to pull my balance up to the amount I put into the account. Greed. Sin. Bad.

Then next day I was to take my Material Science MCQ test in the computer lab. I studied the notes quite extensively, but heck I got 12/25. All the friends I know who took the test at the same time scored at least 16/25. From that point on my mind was running through all the stupid thoughts and comparing myself to people whom i know. Liuyun, Finian, guys I know in NTU. Damn, I'm always behind behind behind! What is wrong with me? I just can't keep on the pace. Everyone has got something to show. I don't !
Let's go down the list. My studies, below average and hitting the fail mark. My high jump, sucks so much that I gave up the chance to try for IVP this year. My financials? Always scrapping the barrel's bottom and asking parents for top-up. Trading, the options trading course i attended was badly timed and too expensive in retrospective. Needless to say, my current forex trading is hitting a crisis, but thank God that I still have half of my original balance in there.

As if all these weren't going to make me end my life yet, my new dentist told me a more alarming news. Because my original dentist ended his time with the clinic at Boon Lay MRT, I had to seek treatment with another doctor from that branch while my first doctor finds his new spot to run his business. So I thought the new dentist was going to just resume the work left behind on my teeth. But I went there, and he checked my teeth for at least 10 full minutes, and from time to time he was always sticking his index finger into my gum to examine clearly. At the end of it, he told me he was trying to see what my first doctor was planning to do with my teeth. He said my lower jaw protrudes out much more than my upper jaw, so there is a limit to how much the lower teeth can bend back to meet the upper teeth. From his professional viewpoint, he said a jaw surgery is recommended. I felt like my life is so wasted. Can you imagine how to operate on a jaw displacement surgery? That's is unimaginable. And I'm afraid I'll lose my speech if my nerves got affected. I am also shocked at why my first doctor didn't discuss with me that I might be going for surgery when I first put on the braces.

I kept asking God what was His plan for me? Go through all these hardships? I can only find relief in what was preached in last service, "God put us in situations so as to build us up"
If my life was like a balance, these 3 ghoulish things are on one end trying wreck my life and on the other side there is, fortunately, God to balance it up.

Hope tomorrow is better.

I helped out in gift wrapping at the children's church during evening! There were big boxes full of toys of all sorts. It felt like Christmas has arrived early and we are the hardworking elves hahaha! Jiawei was there to help too. He had an onset of rashes coming so he left earlier than I thought. We met Guo Lei at level 4 and he told us he started wrapping since 3pm and his right thumb hurts. We are doing the gifts for est 10,000 children! Praise the Lord !!

Then I spent 1.5hours from 9pm to continue my progress in Maths tutorial 4 on Derivatives. Good progress I would say. So much less distractions and so much confidence in studying which came from no one else but God and His house.

I'm in Lee Wee Nam Library now! NTU's engineering library. Well obviously I'm not using my netbook for work, but for analyzing the forex market! My trading life seems to got just abit more worrisome after my live account is up this monday. I have been looking at every currency pair chart from every angle and trying to improve the accuracy of my trade. I did alot of homework notes on the charts itself, sometimes I even find the chart too cluttered for anything good. Actually I'm setting to risk only 2-3% of my account for each trade. So there is nothing for me to fear.
I must continue to remind myself to play it cool. I will post weekly trade results here.

I am not a gambler.
I am not chasing profits.
I am chasing high probability of winning.
I don't trade for revenge just because I lost.

My forex live account is finally ready to trade. By God's grace I hope to double the account size in 4 weeks time or so.

I have been reluctant to blog because this blogging page is still the barebone html format! I think something's wrong with my browser or the blogger.com !
So yeah, I've been studying for 5 weeks in MAE in NTU already! Everything still fine, except the fact that I'm always a little behind the pace of work the school is going through.
Ok don't bother me now, I've got a Life Sciences CA on monday.

Collected my Lenovo S10-2 from Judy. She gave me a friend-only price! This will be my trading kaki in school from now on...

The Lord is blessing me with good forex strategies recently..YEAH!